How to Become More Self-Aware
To me, self-awareness is at the core of personal development and creating meaningful positive change in our lives.
If we aren't self-aware, it can become challenging to thrive in life because we remain unaware of the very thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and patterns that may be holding us back. We continue reacting in the same ways, repeating the same old habits, thinking the same limiting beliefs, and wondering why nothing seems to change.
The good news is that self-awareness is something we can all develop. Like any skill, it takes awareness, practice, patience, and consistent action.
What Is Self-Awareness?
Within my coaching framework, self-awareness consists of four key elements:
- Emotional awareness;
- Thought awareness;
- Present-moment awareness; and
- Becoming the observing consciousness.
Together, these four aspects help us develop a much deeper understanding of ourselves whilst creating the foundation for meaningful, long-lasting positive change.
Emotional Awareness
The first aspect of self-awareness is emotional awareness.
Emotional awareness is our ability to recognise what emotional state we are in at any given moment. Rather than allowing our emotions to take over and control us, we learn to watch, notice, and observe them - without having to go with them.
One simple question can begin this process:
What am I feeling right now?
By becoming aware of our emotions, we create the opportunity to consciously guide ourselves back towards our healthy, balanced, centred, and calm inner state.
Awareness = healing.
Thought Awareness
The second aspect of self-awareness is thought awareness.
Thought awareness is our ability to watch and observe our thoughts without becoming lost in them. Instead, we learn to simply watch, notice, and observe them - without having to go with them.
We begin noticing and observing where our mind keeps drifting to.
Is it replaying something that happened yesterday? Last week? Last year? Last decade?
Is it worrying about tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Next decade?
Or is it fully present, in the here and now?
We also begin recognising how closely our thoughts and emotions are connected. A thought can create an emotion, and an emotion can influence our thoughts. Together, they shape our inner state.
The more aware we become of this relationship, the more consciously we can choose how we respond and how we live our everyday lives.
Remember, awareness = healing.
Present-Moment Awareness
The third aspect of self-awareness is present-moment awareness.
The present moment is where life is happening and unfolding. Yet so often our attention is pulled into the past through regret or into the future through worry and uncertainty.
As we develop present moment awareness, we gently bring our attention back to the here and now. Whether we're eating, walking, working, spending time with loved ones, or simply sitting quietly, we can choose to be fully present with whatever it is we are doing.
And if thoughts come or emotions arise, we can more easily be aware of them and consciously choose not to let them shift us away from the present moment; from our balanced, centred, calm inner state.
Having this type of awareness is where we begin experiencing a deeper sense of inner peace, balance, and harmony.
Becoming the Observing Consciousness
To me, this is the deepest aspect of self-awareness.
We often identify so strongly with our thoughts and emotions that we begin believing they are who we are.However, we are not our thoughts, nor are we our emotions. Instead, we are the awareness that observes them.
We are the observing consciousness that watches our thoughts arise, our emotions come and go, and our experiences unfold from one moment to the next.
The more we learn to observe rather than identify with our thoughts and emotions, the more space we create between ourselves and our responses. And within that space is where we find choice.
Instead of being carried away by every thought and emotion and, in turn, reacting unconsciously in the moment, with a lack of self-awareness, we can respond in a very healthy and balanced way, with greater self-awareness, clarity, certainty, integrity, and intention.
Turn Down the External Noise
One of the most practical ways to develop self-awareness is by turning down the excess external noise.
If our attention is constantly and excessively focused on TV, social media, our phones, other people's opinions, or what other people are doing, with endless distractions, it becomes much more difficult to notice what is happening within us.
Sometimes developing self-awareness simply means creating more quiet space.
Turn your phone off for a while.
Go for a walk without distractions.
Eat your meals without watching TV.
Spend time in silence.
Be fully present in whatever you're doing.
Notice what is going on within you.
The quieter the external world becomes, the easier it is to reconnect with your inner world.
However, this doesn't mean you need to live an isolated or extremely quiet life. It simply means creating moments where you intentionally turn down the external noise so you can focus inwards.
By giving yourself that space, you become more aware of your thoughts, your emotions, and your inner state, helping you develop a higher level of self-awareness.
Return to Your Healthy, Balanced, Centred, and Calm Inner State
One of the greatest lessons I've learnt is that none of us remains healthy, balanced, centred, and calm all of the time.
Life happens.
People challenge us.
Unexpected situations arise.
Strong emotions are simply an aspect of being human.
The goal isn't to never leave your healthy, balanced, centred, and calm inner state. The goal is to become aware when you have.
As soon as you notice you've become overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, upset, or emotionally reactive, guide yourself back.
Pause before taking action.
Take a breath.
Step outside for some fresh air.
Turn your phone off for a while.
Give yourself the time and space to reconnect with your healthy, balanced, centred, and calm inner state before making a decision, acting, or responding.
I've found that some of the best decisions I've made have come from responding from a place of balance rather than reacting in the heat of the moment.
Understanding Self-Awareness Is One Thing; Living It Is Another.
Understanding self-awareness intellectually is relatively easy; living it consistently is something else entirely.
It's easy to understand these ideas when we feel balanced, centred, and calm. The real challenge comes in those moments when we're emotionally unsettled. Those are the moments when self-awareness matters most.
Those are the moments when we have the opportunity to pause, become aware of what is happening within us, and then guide ourselves back towards our healthy, balanced, centred, and calm inner state.
Having the awareness is key to creating positive change, so use these moments as opportunities to learn, grow, and evolve.
This Is Lifelong Inner Work
Developing a high level of self-awareness doesn't happen overnight; it takes awareness, practice, patience, and consistency.
Over time, you'll begin noticing your thoughts sooner, recognising your emotions sooner, and returning to your healthy, balanced, centred, and calm inner state sooner. Not because you've become a perfect human being (this doesn't exist), but because you've become more aware.
Final Thoughts
To me, self-awareness is where meaningful positive change begins.
By developing emotional awareness, thought awareness, present-moment awareness, and becoming the observing consciousness, we begin creating the foundation for meaningful positive change in every area of our lives.
Remember, understanding these ideas intellectually is only the beginning; learning to live them consistently is something else entirely.
Be kind and patient with yourself.
Turn down the excess external noise.
Become aware of your thoughts.
Become aware of your emotions.
Be present. Observe.
Pause before taking any action.
And then guide yourself back to your healthy, balanced, centred, and calm inner state whenever you notice you've drifted away from it.
To me, this is lifelong inner work. And it's one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
